The World is Closing In

I am trying to keep perspective.

I am small. Barely an atom in the universe. My trials and errors matter none in the history of the world. I am one of billions living on this planet at this current moment. Unknown to the masses and scarcely known to those who I am lucky enough to interact with. No matter my course of action, history will largely forget me. This I know as fact. It is not negative. Instead It helps me put myself in perspective and not become overcome with burden.

I lay this out before you because my levels of fear and anxiety are rising by the day. Temperatures are rising, storms are becoming stronger and doing more damage, Black people continue to get shot by police. White supremacists are shooting protestors and walking away unscathed. The economy is crumbling. The days of change that Obama spoke about seem to be light years in the past of our history. I worry about my children’s future, my future, the world’s future. 

Everywhere I look I see hatred. White people refuse to listen to their darker melanated brethren as they scream and plead for social justice. Kaepernick protesting was peaceful and was treated with disdain. Rioting is not peaceful and treated with the same disdain. There is no right way, place, or time for People of Color to demand change. Our prophets of Malcolm, Martin, Hooks, Freire, Lourde, and Barber go unheeded. The wealth in this country continues to get funneled to the top while the poor and barely middle class continue to struggle through life.

Honestly it is getting harder and harder to find joy. To see hope. To continue to believe the arc of the moral universe continues to bend toward justice. 

One thing has allowed me to breathe. To believe that I may be a small part of change. It is the equity work that my school is doing. Val Brown and Rebekah Cordova have come in and trained 20 educators to be equity warriors. It may seem that the world is falling apart around me but the hope that my school district is moving towards social justice for its students keeps my soul afloat. To see a district’s leadership bring in top notch professional development around race gives me hope.

Maybe, just maybe, Lawrence can shift their moral arc. Maybe just maybe, Lawrence can create an environment where all students can feel celebrated for who they are. Maybe, just maybe, Lawrence can provide an environment for students to be their authentic selves without fear of repercussion. 

I know it may seem like I am grasping for straws. Truthfully, I am. And yet hope is the only thing I have. The driving force that allows me to continue to believe that my life can be meaningful. That I can make a positive impact. That maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I need the light. I need to feel that I am here for a purpose and that the world can be a better place. We all need the world to be a better place. 

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